


Run Away

by Crazy_panda_25



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Angst, Forgivness, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Healing, Help, Hurt/Comfort, Major child abuse, Torture, mention of the whomping willow incident, slight mention of self harming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 01:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11048118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_panda_25/pseuds/Crazy_panda_25
Summary: A story about when Sirius runs away from home after a very big fall out...





	Run Away

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: REMEMBER TO READ THE TAGS, IF ANY OF THEM TRIGGER YOU IN ANYWAY DO NOT READ THIS. STAY SAFE, GUYS!

**_ Run Away _ **

 

Sirius sits on his bed leaning against his head board and staring up at the ceiling. It is the fourth day of the Christmas holidays (one day until Christmas) and Sirius is sat alone in his dark room thinking about the last few weeks.

He had betrayed Remus, he knew he had as soon as the words had left his mouth that day, the words that nearly cost Snape his life and Remus his freedom. James had been angry-no-furious with him and who can blame him? Sirius had done something unforgivable. Remus had only looked betrayed and hurt, while Peter seemed to stay quiet through out. James had shouted insult after insult at him. 'Maybe you are like your family after all' and 'I hate you and I can't believe I ever wanted to be your friend." Remus, however, had just watched on, looking between them as if to make sure the argument didn't turn violent. Sirius would have deserved it if it had.

 

That was the last time he'd spoken to them in two weeks. James had told him he never wanted to talk to him again so he made it easy for him. In class, he'd sit at the opposite side of the room to them and listen quietly to the professor. He'd skip meals so they wouldn't have to see him more often then necessary. Sirius didn't even sleep in the dorm anymore, he'd either sleep on the common room sofa or in the room of requirements. Even then he hardly slept, guilt and regret eating away at him.

 

Sirius had seen Remus attempt to talk to him more then once but he'd always walked away, pretending he didn't notice. He couldn't deal with that argument yet.

 

Now here Sirius is, sat on his bed at Grimmauld Place having obeyed his parent's request that he come back this Christmas. He didn't know why he obeyed, he'd spent the last few years ignoring the same letter but it felt different now. Maybe it is Sirius' way of punishing himself for the betrayal.

 

Sirius has spent most of the time in his room, avoiding his family like the plague. He hadn't eaten since the second to last day at Hogwarts and he refuses to eat the food they give to him because, honestly, he doesn't trust that they won't try to poison him. This in turn makes his parents furious. Ever time they see him they shout at him or punish him for something, he's not even sure they need a reason by this point. Always 'you've done this wrong' or 'you've done that wrong' or 'why can't you be more like Regulus.'

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day is Christmas Day and Sirius hates it. There is no happiness or joy or fun or presents. There is just a boring pure blood party that is full of the people Sirius detests more then anything, Slytherins. He's not sure why but throughout the party he made sure to make his parents as angry as possible. Talking over people, talking back to his parents, making snide comments able Slytherins. Sirius knows this is a death wish but right now he has nothing left to lose so he doesn't care.

 

It is at the table when they are all eating (well, everyone apart from Sirius, who's moving his food round his plate absentmindedly), that it all kicked off.

"Did you here about that mudblood family that was killed by the Dark Lord?" One of the men at the table says.

"Yes, splendid, news wasn't it? Those disgusting mudbloods deserved it and more," Orion agrees, Sirius grits his teeth but says nothing, "muggle parents, I believe and two daughters?"

"Yes, that's the one. Disgusting creatures. Mudbloods and half-breeds alike," says the man, smirking.

Something in Sirius snapped, years of listening to this type of talk had taught him to keep his mouth shut but just hearing them say that they are any better then people like Remus, who have a muggle parent. Remus, who is a million times better person then any of them could hope to be.

"Shut up," Sirius shouts suddenly, pushing himself up from the table, "you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about."

"How dare you, Sirius," Orion growls, "sit down this instant."

"No! I will not sit here and listen to all of you bigots talk about muggle borns and half-bloods like they are dirt," Sirius yells, making all the other wizards and witches look at him in anger.

"They ARE dirt, all of them," says Luicius Malfoy's mother, bitterly, "dirty, filthy blood that shouldn't be mixing with our perfect clean blood."

"I know a half-blood that is worth ten of you. He's kind, loyal, intelligent and amazing. A better wizard then any of you could ever wish to be," Sirius shouts, "I also know a muggle-born that's one of the most intelligent people in our year. She's helpful, funny, clever and she can see the best in people even when they can't do it themselves. There blood is just as clean as ours, actually no it's cleaner."

"How dare you, boy," Orion shouts, standing up himself and grabbing his shoulder so hard that if Sirius had not been use to it he would have yelled out in pain, "go to your room now, I will deal with you later."

"No!" Sirius yells, pushing his father's hand off him. At that moment Sirius realises he'd made a big mistake, he'd gone too far, "this needs saying. None of you bigots are better then them."

"You are wrong, boy. All those mudbloods, half-breeds and blood-traitors deserve to die, all of then do you hear me. They have ruined our world and the Dark Lord is going to right it all," Orion says, his voice low and dangerous.

"Voldemort isn't going to win this war," Sirius answers, before striding out and up to his room.

  
Back at his room, Sirius closed the door behind him and leaned on it. He felt angry, frustrated...upset. Without warning, Sirius punches the wall of his bedroom so hard that the skin on his knuckles splits open. It is then that he felt an urge that he's never felt for years. The urge the cut himself. Since James, Remus and Peter had found out about his habit, they'd helped him stop by giving him different ways to calm himself down. Playing Quidditch, talking to then about anything to keep his mind off it, pulling a prank on Filch, anything. It had helped a lot but he didn't have any of that here. His friends hated him and he isn't at Hogwarts.

 

Resisting the urge, he cleans his knuckle of blood and muttering a quick healing spell, not for the first time silently thanking the fact that Grimmauld Place had spells against the ministry tracker on underaged wizards. Taking a deep breath, Sirius sits down on his bed to think about what just happened.

 

They're gonna kill me, Sirius thinks, they're actually gonna kill me.

Even as Sirius thinks about this, he can't find a tiny bit of him that cares. Maybe it had been a suicide mission coming here in the first place. Whatever had been the reason, he knew he deserves everything that happens to him. He had come here to punish himself for betraying Remus and this is his chance.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK, GET DOWN HERE AT ONCE," Orion's voice bellows up the stairs making Sirius flinch.

"Coming, sir," Sirius mutters, getting up and going down stairs and into his father's study.

Orion and Walburga Black are both stood side by side in front of Sirius, equally furious expressions on their faces.

"HOW DARE YOU MAKE A FOOL OF US IN FRONT OF OUR FRIENDS," Orion scolds, his knuckles white from the grip on his wands, "YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT FOR YOUR ELDERS."

"I have respect for the people who deserve it," Sirius answers, as soon as the words left his mouth he know what is coming.

"Crucio," both his parents shout, pointing their wands at Sirius.

Sirius clenches his teeth to stop himself screaming out in pain, he didn't want to give them the satisfaction. When the curse finally stopped, Sirius is still standing in front of his parents glaring at them.

"You are a worthless, filthy blood traitor," Walburga screeches.

"And I'm proud of it. Your blood is tainted with evil," Sirius spits, his body still aching from the Cruciatus Curse, "unlike this family, muggle-borns and half-bloods have blood that is clean and free of evil."

"Crucio," Orion and Walburga shout, angry.

The curse is stronger then the last, filled with pure hatred and anger. Sirius' legs give way beneath him causing him to fall to the floor at his parents feet. Then, the curse is lifted and Sirius staggers, on shaky legs, to his feet.

"Don't you dare speak ill of your blood boy," Orion bellows, striding forward suddenly and grabbing Sirius by the shoulder and slamming him into the wall.

The impact had been so hard that Sirius felt his right shoulder bone break under his father's hand. Years before he would have backed down before this point but since he'd started at Hogwarts he'd stared standing up for himself a lot more and was even talking back to them by second year. He blames that on being friends with someone like James.

He is shaken from his thoughts when Orion punches him square in the nose and let's him fall to the floor. Once again Sirius stands up determined to not let them win.

"Typical Griffindor, doesn't know when to back down," Orion growls, "until it's too late."

With that, Orion punches him again. Three times in the stomach and twice in the face. Sending Sirius falling to the floor, his gaze blurry and black around the edges. Hunger and pain making him feel weak. He felt like he is about to pass out but he shakes his head to clear it.

"Typical Slytherin, so much of a coward that you beat up people that can't fight back," Sirius spits, getting a sharp kick in the ribs from his mother's healed shoes making him cough up blood.

"You are a shame to our family, Sirius, always have been. Worthless, blood traitor, scum, disgrace," Walburga says, doing a complicated wand move meant as she says the last four words.

Suddenly, Sirius knows what she is doing as suddenly there is pain on both his wrists and ancles. Looking down at his left wrist he sees a word scratched their. Worthless.

"I hate you, I hate you so much," Sirius shouts, trying to stand up but his mother kicks him sharply once again

"You are going nowhere, boy," Orion shouts, "nobody else would want you anyway."

Those words stuck in Sirius head. Nobody else would want you anyway. It was true. He had lost his friends through his own stupidity, no one in his family liked him other then his cousin, Andromeda and maybe his uncle Alphard. He doesn't even know where either of them live.

"I'd rather be alone then with two bigots that think they're better then good people," Sirius snaps.

Walburga does the complicated wand movements again but this time ending in five sharp slashes with her wand. Suddenly, Sirius can feel the deep cuts slicing through his back, his blood soaking the back of his shirt. At that moment, Sirius realises he needs to get out before they kill him.

"Why can't you be more like Regulus? He is able to be polite, well-mannered and know the difference between right and wrong," Walburga screeches, furiously.

"This family's difference between right and wrong is horrendous," Sirius says, discreetly grabbing his wand from his pocket, "murdering innocent people is not right."

"Mudbloods are not innocent," Orion shouts, pointing his wand at Sirius.

Before he can say the incantation, Sirius takes his wand out, pointing it at both of them and shouting, "stupefy."

Pushing himself up from the floor slowly, Sirius runs out of the room then out of the house. His body aches all over but he knows that if he stops now they'll find him. Suddenly, he remembers he had learned how to turn into an animagus at will the week before. Sirius, James and Peter had managed to successfully become animagus' at the start of fifth year but hadn't been able to do so at will. Sirius had practiced it a lot since the whomping willow incident and had finally managed it.

Concentrating, his body slowly shifts into a dog. With four legs, Sirius can walk faster with less pain. The freezing air clings to his face and rain soaks through his fur as he travels through London. He's going to the only place he can, James'.

Hours later he arrives at Godric Hollow, exhausted, Hungary and in excruciating pain. Using every last bit of strength he has left, Sirius changes back into a human. Struggling to stay standing, he knocks on the door as hard as he can.

__________________________________________________________

  
James is having a lot of trouble sleeping that night. He has a feeling that something bad has happened. After a few hours of tossing and turning, he gets up and goes down stairs to get himself a drink of water. Downstairs, he glances out the window at the pouring rain and shivers. December had been very cold this winter. After pouring himself a drink of water, James sits down on the sofa to drink it.

The silence of the house is suddenly interrupted by a hard, urgent knock on the door, making James jump.

"Who could that be at this hour?" James says to himself, getting up, wand in hand just in case.

When he opens the door, he is horrified by the scene in front of him.

"J-James," Sirius murmurs, quietly before passing out, falling into James' arms.

"Sirius! Sirius, you've got to wake up," James says, urgently, "come on, please mate, wake up."

Sirius doesn't move.

When James goes to check Sirius' pulse, he sees a word scratched into the skin of his wrist. Worthless. He resists the urge to be sick.

"MUM, DAD COME QUICK," James yells up the stairs, carefully shaking Sirius to wake him up.

"Please, mate, you have to wake up. Please, it can't end like this," James begs, softly.

"James, are you okay? Why did-" Euphemia Potter asks, cutting herself off when she sees Sirius.

"Mum, please, please help him," James begs, looking at his mum.

"James help me take him into kitchen," Euphemia says, quickly.

Together they carefully move Sirius onto the table in the kitchen so Euphemia, who is a trained healer can work on healing his wounds. She mutters healing spells as James watches on, stood beside his dad.

"Most of these wounds have been caused by dark magic meaning they will scar," Euphemia says, quietly, "there is also signs of the Cruciatus Curse being used."

"Dark magic," James repeats, softly.

"His parents did this then?" Fleamont Potter asks, looking at his wife.

"I believe so," Euphemia answers, "he's suffering from exhaustion and starvation on top of his injuries. This suggests he walked here from Grimmauld Place."

"Walked? That's miles away and the weather is horrendous," Fleamont says, shocked.

" By the look of things if he hadn't got here when he did, he would have died," Euphemia says, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"But he's going to be okay, right?" James asks, looking at his friends pale face.

"Yes, he will be. Your dad will take him to the spare room so he can get some sleep," Euphemia answers, stroking her son's hair.

"Can't he sleep in the other bed in my room, the one he uses when he's stays over," James says, quickly, he can't bring himself to leave Sirius on his own again.

"Very well," Fleamont says, carefully picking Sirius up and taking him to James' room.

"He will be fine, James," Euphemia comforts, pulling him into a hug.

"Of course he is, he always is," James says, nodding, wiping his eye with his sleeve.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When his parents have gone back to bed, James sits next to Sirius' bed, tears falling down his face every so often.

"I'm so sorry, Sirius," James says, into the silence.

Grabbing a quill and a roll of parchment, James scribbles a letter to Remus and Peter telling them what had happened. Peter had gone to America this Christmas so James knows he won't be able to come over but he knows Remus will be over in the morning after what has happened.

  
Just as James thought, Remus arrived first thing the next morning.

"What happened, James?" Remus asks, straight away.

"His parents...we-we don't know exactly what happened yet but they...oh Remus when he turned up last night I though he was going to die," James says, looking at Remus sadly.

"But he's going to okay, right?" Remus asks, concerned, "that's what your mum said."

"Yeah, yeah," James says, nodding.

"How-how bad was it, I mean..." Remus cuts himself off.

"Mum said that he would have died if he didn't get here when he did," James answers, quietly, "he's been asleep since he arrived last night. You can come upstairs and see him if you want."

Remus nods, following James to his room.

"I wish we'd just told him we forgave him when we did," Remus says, after a few minutes of silence, "maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"I've been thinking the same thing," James answers, looking at Sirius, who is still asleep.

"It was a mistake, we all make mistakes. We didn't even hear him out, there could have been a reason why he did it," Remus says, looking down at his hands.

"Don't blame yourself, Remus," James says, softly, "if it's anyone's fault it's mine, I told you to leave it till after the holidays to tell him."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sirius wakes up slowly, not opening his eyes. Where am I, he wonders, before hearing a familiar voice from next to him say.

"He's waking up," the familiar voice says. Remus.

No that can't be right, he thinks, why would Remus be here.

Moving slightly, he feels a sharp pain shoot through him causing him to wince and open his eyes. Sirius' gaze is blurry as he squints at the light. Wincing once again as pain flies through him.

"Don't try to move, mate," James' voice says, carefully.

"Do you think I should get your mum?" Remus asks James.

Then he remembers what happened the night before. What his parents did, that he ran away.

"Does your back hurt, Sirius?" James asks, carefully, "I'll get mum if it does, she'll get you a potion or something."

"I...I...I shouldn't be here," Sirius says, struggling to sit up due to the pain running through his body, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here."

"No, Sirius, calm down. It's fine, everything is going to be fine," James comforts, softly, "we're glad you came here."

"I'm sorry," Sirius all but whispers, looking down at his hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Remus says, from beside James, "we forgive you, I forgive you."

"Y-you f-forgive me? Why?" Sirius asks, suprised, "I don't deserve it."

"You should sleep now, you must be exhausted, but we'll talk about this later, okay? We'll talk about this and get past it," Remus soothes.

"You should hate me," Sirius says, quietly.

"We could never hate you, Sirius, never, okay?" James answers, softly, "you're going to be alright."

"I didn't have anywhere else to go, I didn't know what else to do," Sirius says, biting his lip too hard.

"You know you're always welcome here, my parents love you," James says, smiling slightly.

"Can you tell us what happened, though? We presume your parents...did this," Remus asks, tentatively.

"Yeah, I...I argued with them, I shouldn't have, but... I deserved it, I should have just kept my mouth shut," Sirius says, running his hand through his hair.

"You didn't deserve this, okay? You didn't, whatever they said...whatever they told you... This isn't your fault," James says, forcefully, "It's their fault and only their fault."

"Did...did they use any curses on you, Sirius?" Remus asks, calmly.

"Just Cruciatus curse a few times but that's normal, they always do that," Sirius says, as though it's no big deal.

Without warning, Remus punches the wall, hard, splitting open the skin on his knuckle and making Sirius flinch.The room goes silent, the other two boys watching Remus shocked. Out of all of them, Remus would always be the last to lost control.

"I'm sorry," Remus breaths, after a few minutes of silence, "I just...they have no right to hurt you this much and get away with it."

"There's nothing anyone can do, they're too powerful," Sirius says, sofly.

"It's not fair, just because they're rich or powerful doesn't mean they should be able to do this to you," Remus says, annoyed.

"It got out of control this time, I shouldn't have pushed them," Sirius answers, looking down, "they just snapped."

"Snapped is accidentally slapping your kid, snapped isn't torturing and nearly killing your child," Remus argues, shaking his head, "I'll bloody kill them."

"As much as I'd love to do that, it wouldn't help anyone," James says, softly, "for now you need to eat something and sleep, Sirius."

Sirius nods slowly.

  
Making mistakes is part of growing up and Sirius made a big one but the other marauders are willing to forgive him after he explains what happen. Soon they'll be going back to Hogwarts together and will be able to properly move past this. Maybe together they can do anything.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Comments and kudos are always welcome. Also, remember if you are a subject to any kind of child abuse tell someone and get some adult help. Stay safe, guys
> 
>  
> 
> This is the prequel to 'Everyone Makes Mistakes, Bad People Just Don't Regret them' so feel free to read that one after this. Thank you for reading :)


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